Ok, so let's say you've discovered the perfect aphrodesiac, and the perfect M.O. So, no matter what you look like, you just have hordes of the preferred sex, a-bangin' on your door, 24/7, willing to do whatever you want.
It's possible, ya know. Especially these days.
So what do you end up doing?
I mean, I wonder how many people have the vision & wherewithal to climb up the learning curve?
It kind of reminds me of looking for cars. You look at too many, you can forget your goals or become a fantasist/perfectionist, & it just gets harder to decide.
& with dating, I think when it gets too easy, we run the risk of becoming too knee-jerk about trading our partner in (or never bother to learn how to choose well).
In that case, we also never bother to transform the hot '1st phase' nookie into the longer-burning 'wow, I want that person forever, I wanna use sex to bond with & honor that soul' dealio.
just sayin'.
It's possible, ya know. Especially these days.
So what do you end up doing?
I mean, I wonder how many people have the vision & wherewithal to climb up the learning curve?
It kind of reminds me of looking for cars. You look at too many, you can forget your goals or become a fantasist/perfectionist, & it just gets harder to decide.
& with dating, I think when it gets too easy, we run the risk of becoming too knee-jerk about trading our partner in (or never bother to learn how to choose well).
In that case, we also never bother to transform the hot '1st phase' nookie into the longer-burning 'wow, I want that person forever, I wanna use sex to bond with & honor that soul' dealio.
just sayin'.
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 7:34 PMYou forgot to ask about those who bond first and then enjoy sex with the understanding that the bond is already there. Or has that gone out of vogue all of a sudden? -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 11:28 PMIt's not exclusive, I didn't exclude monogamy nor even presume promiscuity.
Love to hear what people would choose to do.
I'm guessing you'd choose to bond first and use all your prowess with your soulmate? That would be my choice for sure!
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 11:44 PM
ah but is the perfect aphrodesiac the perfect abuse of power? And if so would abusing that power over one with whom you have trust, be more of an abuse? Is it then a violation of a primary social contract _and_ intimacy?
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 11:54 PMAbuse is abuse. There are people who seek to justify their abuse "because it could be worse". That sort of "logic" is not healthy and not helpful. Although human beings can behave and think in that manner, it is not loving at all...it is abusive behaviour. Period. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 12:02 AMand assumption is just the abuse of ignorance? -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 12:05 AMwow the tribe interface threw up a strange post that I responded to - please ignore that last one. very strange glitch indeed.
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 12:05 AM>Love to hear what people would choose to do.
You go first. What would you choose to do? -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 1:50 AMOh. Didn't I say already?
I would def go for the soulmate boinkage.
The transition from 1st phase wattage to slow burn can be tricky, which is why I think the most successful couples emerge from people who have known each other a long time (together at work or on projects, etc) before they hooked up. Then the bonding happens before the sex at all... -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 10:38 PMyes....but what sort of person is the soul mate of the person who needs this aphrodisiac?...maybe not said perfectly... -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 11:32 PMexactly, and doesn't the notion of an aphrodisiac imply that whatever is going on normally is not enough? Needs some help - almost subterfuge? I don't mean in that mutual. sexy diner that starts with the oysters appetizer and ends in sinful chocolate abandon way, but the semi hypnotic or mind control fantasy aphrodisiac way. Now that's a pretty loaded place, both in terms of personal agency and the ethics of inter-personal power relationships.
both "what sort of person is the soul mate of the person who needs this aphrodisiac?" and -- what sort of person needs an aphrodisiac to find a soulmate? and- what are the power relationships between a person and his/her aphrodisiac inspired/driven/controlled soulmate?
I think these are interesting questions; if for nothing else than power itself seems to be such a powerful aphrodisiac. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sun, June 3, 2007 - 1:44 AMwell, I admit in my own search for a soul mate (and I admit to this though it makes me feel a little like a mush) that quantity might help the sorting process. I really am not searching for a novelty, or just someone who is interesting...I am looking for some lady who sees herself in me , and in whom I see myself. It is really incidental that I am a fascinating person (I am for the record).
however this aphrodisiac....would it by any chance be intelligence, or related to intelligence...it seems there was an unspoken thing somewhere I think. If I am right I am curious to know what it was.
Finlay, I presently find myself in no need of an aphrodisiac, if however you happen to hear of some potion which will repel everyone but the one meant for me...please alert me at once. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Sun, June 3, 2007 - 8:50 AMsort of a fatedisiac or a destinedisiac or a moiraedisiac. What a time saver. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 9:48 AMhaha - destinesiac - love it!
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 9:48 AM>>if however you happen to hear of some potion which will repel everyone but the one meant for me...please alert me at once.<<
I think discernment is so important; that's the other side of attraction. You could attract every person in the world, but it wouldn't do you much good if you chose badly. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 2:11 PMjust think if you had both then the result would be that your soul mate would just show up.
how cool would that be? -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 2:23 PMor that you would just show up. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 4:00 PM>> ... or that you would just show up.<<
Touche' -- you beat me to it! ;)
Costco soulmate destinesiac, at your service! -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 4:05 PMOK, so are you guys honestly saying that not one of you would even consider using all those super aphrodesiac powers and throw ethics to the wind and party down ?!? -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 6:02 PMOh no, I wasn't saying that...
the question just doesn't apply to me because I already have super aphrodisiac powers. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 5:08 AMI AM RA here. New to this conversation and the tribe so forgive me I can not help but butt in:-)
I would think the point would be that you have this amazing experience with someone because all of your senses are being aroused intellectually and physically and if the rhythm between the couple is sync there will be an intense connection made that is when the super aphrodisiac powers would come in. But I would never assume Patasapien is saying these super powers exist every time he is around someone who he is attracted to but maybe if all of his pleasure senses are aligned(including intellect) those powers exist as they always should when one wants to engage in intimacy? But some settle for a lesser form of these pleasure and do not even realize it when it is happening.
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 6:55 PMno ... I mean ... yes ... I mean ... oh, I'm so weak.
Actually I'd probably tell myself no way, then and up doing it, and then end up feeling really bad and then make sure that we spent the night just talking. And unlike Patasapien, I sadly have no superpowers :( -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Wed, June 6, 2007 - 12:54 PM
The only thing "super" about Pata is his super-sized ego. :oP
I have no super aphrodisiac powers, nor would I want them. I have already found perfection in my wife and I wouldn't trade her for anything.
However, we're always willing to share our bed with the right super-genius chick poised to take over the world. I'm just puttin' it out there.. ;o) -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Wed, June 6, 2007 - 3:27 PM>>However, we're always willing to share our bed with the right super-genius chick poised to take over the world.<<
It's always a good idea to be on the winning side, after all... ;)
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Wed, June 6, 2007 - 12:47 PM"your soul mate would just show up.
how cool would that be? "
Not cool at all for me. I love the chase. I don't think you can truly appreciate what you haven't worked for. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 3:46 AMI think what you mean is that unless you exhaust yourself you don't know how to appreciate even the most inherently valuable thing, this must be what you mean you wouldn't speak for me I am guessing, since we've established that there is a difference in our ways of seeing things.
I am sure that for you it's the right choice, your soul mate probably feels the same.
just consider...the chase doesn't end till you tire, and the finding is found in the heart well before it's found outside.
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 3:58 AMyou know...the air in this tribe just changed from "kind of interesting yet not really hitting on the subject" to "slightly unfriendly".
I think you'd rather have me gone then have an opposing opinion, so cheers.
but just for the record, the other side always exists, and if you want to ignore it you'll miss the whole. -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 5:19 AMWell that would be unfortunate, because there would be no use of having a conversation if there was no "opposing opinion" or should I say a different outlook or new ideas being presented otherwise there would be no used for conversation or any response at all for that matter.
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 4:33 PM
Ok Pata, I can't force you to stay. If you're going to run from a jovial jibe, so be it.
No one ever attacks you but you.
Take care, man. Fair thee well. :o) -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 8, 2007 - 10:26 AMI would be sad to see a superhero leave the galaxy :( -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 8, 2007 - 10:28 AMI missed whatever the inciting posts may have been, but I think maybe it's helpful to consider that people soemtimes type differently than they might converse live... we are missing the physical subtleties and feedback and peacemakign that might go on in a live conversation...
just my 2 1/2 nonsense... -
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Fri, June 8, 2007 - 10:39 AM
The posts I deleted were from Pata and were, in my opinion, intentionally inflammatory. We don't need that influence here.
All are always welcome, but I WILL be a Mod when I have to be. -
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OK so now I'm morphing my view a bit
Wed, July 4, 2007 - 11:49 AM... since I was listening to someone I admire and they were making some salient points...
The bottom line of what they were saying was: It seems that men need something to do with all that vasopressin. Thus, women should not be solo dating any one guy unless some guy she digs over the others has bascially shooed the others off. It's a sociobiologic thing...
Not that I personally go for f/b or FWB - not for me. I just can't sleep with someone random who I don't super dig, or who I think lacks potential. Bleh.
But when there's more than one guy calling who I actually fancy, and I can keep the oxytocin at bay, then I'm going for multi-dating - and let the cream find its way to the top ;) Since, while I'd like to find someone special and explore that dynamic, I think it takes meeting & dating a lot of guys to find that special dude...
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Re: power 'n' ethix
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 9:45 AMOh I wasn't implying that a person needed the aphrodesiac, just that it might be some sudden circumstance, whether you wanted/ needed it or not. Could even be an unwanted gift / burden...
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